Hi there and Quelcome to the Quims Homepage.
QUIMWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and QUIMMARY
Heads: Dazzle Quim, Glennadore Quim, Schwanne Quim
(Order of Quim, First Class, Grand Dick Heads., Chf. Quimlock,
Supreme Quimwump, International Confed. of Quizards)
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at QUIMWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and QUIMMARY
Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31..
Head of Mischief
Qumwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
First-year students will require:
- Three sets of plain work robes (black)
- One stainless steel hat (Non Stick) for day wear
- One pair of protective gloves (Bongo hide or similar)
- One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Quims(Grade 1)
by Schwanne Quim
A History of Quims
by Bathilda Bagofquims
Magical Quim Theory
by Adalbert Wafflingquim
A Beginner's Guide to Quimsfiguration
by Glennadore Quim
One Cheeky Vimtos
by Catherine Cundliffe
Magical Drafts and Potions
by Arsenius Quimshit
Danderfull Beasts and Where to Find Them
by Jon DongoFONGO
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection
by Dazzle Quim
- 1 wand
- 1 bottle of port (1ltr)
- 1 Pint Glass of Blue WKD
- 1 iPhone
Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a dug OR a toad.
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS
ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN PERSONAL BARMAID
Head of Quizzardry.
You are probably wondering what “We are Quims” are all about. Well what started out as a quick
comment has snowballed into mini revolution. A revolution that you can help us with.
Quims have basic aims:-
1: To Promote the use of the word ‘Quim’
- A Quim as an insult for the twenty tens means a little bit more than the T word but is not
as bad as the C word. This is generally known as a Whack Quim.
- A Quim can also be used as a term of endearment.
- A Quim can also denote a person of high regard. Someone who excels or are bloody
brilliant. This is generally known as a Swagger Quim.
2: To promote and use Quimglish™
- All good Quims are at the moment discovering a new language. By adding to our
numbers we can spread the word and develop our vocabulary.
- Words already in usage include:
Quimas. Noun. (Kwim-mas). An annual festivity to drink and eat too much.
Quail. Noun. (Kw-a-al). Somebody who is as slow as a snail but also a quim.
Quill. Noun. ((Kw-ill). A Quim who is under the weather.
Qwit Qwoo. Phrase. (Kwit Kwoo). Hot Tottie. Very Excited. Quimming Brilliant!
3: To honour Quims around the world.
4: To eventualy take over the world.
5: To hold dear to our hearts The Quim’s biggest aim - “It’s all about fun and laughter. Init? ; ) x"
Meet the Quim leaders
I’m Schwanne and am always up for a good time init ?....... xx :) I am President of the Fun and Laughter Department. I am also Head of Quiology, being the first person to discover there the Quimula is. I like making plans and seeing them being put into action. I also like relaxed and chilled nights out, zombies, lion impressions and getting southerners to eat chips and gravy! Life is for the living and I have many plans for 2011. I am also a Quenie and like to help people's wishes come true. Plans and Wishes init? Nothing’s gonna stop us now!
I’m Dazzle and the other two tell me I am the brains of Team Quim. I am also the evil genius! My eyes do flash red when I have evil thoughts and devil's forks appear in my pupils apparently. I like to publicise Quim where ever I go and am Minister of both Quim Public Relations Brigade and The Quim Promotional Office. As well as all this I am Head of Quathematics, as I like to use formulas to solve problems. I love Stars, Pirates, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Lime Jelly (which just makes everything right).
I’m Glennadore and life has never been the same since I mentioned the word Quim to Dazzle and Schwanne. For some reason they rolled with it and from there we reach our own website. I am Head of Quimglish. The Language is still in its infancy and I am encouraging in it’s first steps. I like Harry Potter, Spaghetti Bolognaise and Blackpool, the birth of Quims!